I grew up in a house where each of my parents clearly had a favorite child. It’s difficult when your parent has a favorite child and clearly favors that child. It’s surely made even more difficult when your parents have three children and it’s clear that you aren’t one of the favorites. I know that there was anger, resentment and hurt feelings. Add in a little smugness from the favorites, and it made for a rough adolescence. For everyone involved
While I currently have issues with my parents, none of those issues truly stem from how they raised us. This parenting gig is hard and I know that they did the best that they could and if I learned one thing, it was to take what I know about my childhood (good or bad) and use that to help me raise my boys.
I think that because my parents clearly had a “favorite”, I’m a little more sensitive and aware of the whole issue. I think that I do a pretty good job of not favoring one boy over the other (and OMG, if I do and we are friends, PLEASE TELL ME!). Where I really struggle is on this blog. I feel like if you were a complete stranger you would think that I clearly favor Jack. I feel like I write about him far more often than I write about Xander. I know that part of it is that Jack is older and verbal. I mean how many posts can I write that say “Xander said four new words today!” But I can post about Jack and his issue with apple at school, about how we got rid of the night-time pull-up, about how his imagination is exploding.
I don’t mean to make it sound like Xander is boring, because heavens that child is not boring. He keeps me on my toes and is teaching me new things all the time. Maybe I should write about those things? GAH! I just don’t know.
A friend of mine harassed me for more than two years to start this blog and part of my stalling was that I didn’t really think that young toddler-hood was really worthy of blog fodder. And I guess that’s where I’m at right now. I love the young toddler stage, I just don’t know how to write about it. The problem is, years from now, I don’t want Xander to read this blog and wonder why I never wrote about him.
Last week I asked Twitter if they have the same issue. It was unanimous. Everyone who responded said that they worry about perceived favoritism on their blogs. It makes me relieved to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this, but I still don’t know what to do. Do I keep writing the way I have been and not worry about it? Do I find more to say about Xander? I do know that this is partly the reason that I haven’t been writing much and I definitely don’t like that.
This work, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.