I Wish I Could Say I Told You So

It’s a well known fact that I have small babies.  Small babies who continue to stay small, but are very healthy.  Jack was 5 lbs 12 oz when he was born three days before his due date and because his weight was below the 10th percentile, he was diagnosed with something called “small for gestational age.”  This diagnosis had absolutely no effect on him and in fact, I had no idea that it had been diagnosed until I went to my 1st OB appointment when I was pregnant with Xander.  Because of Jack’s weight, I was more closely monitored during my pregnancy to make sure that Xander was growing appropriately, which he was.

Our pediatrician never once voiced a concern at Jack’s weight.  He steadily gained weight and consistently remained on the bottom of the growth charts.  At every well visit, he was pleased with Jack’s weight gain and told me to keep up the hard work with breastfeeding and we were clearly doing everything right.

Fast forward two years.  Xander was born at a hefty 6 lbs 5 oz.  At his one month well visit, our pediatrician voiced a little concern over his small size and said that he wasn’t opposed to giving him an ounce or two of formula after each feeding.  I nodded politely but had no intention of supplementing.  His weight was almost identical to Jack’s weight at the same age so I wasn’t concerned.  He was having the appropriate number of wet/dirty diapers and was thriving.

I will never forget Xander’s two month well visit.  I remember a discussion of his weight, which was right around 10 pounds and around the 10th percentile (may a little lower).  I remember the doctor saying X was not gaining enough weight and didn’t I want my child to be healthy.  I remember the doctor saying that because Xander’s height was in the 50th percentile, he needed to gain more weight so that his weight was more in line with his height.   I remember walking to the car in tears.  That night we began supplementing and headed down a two month road of nursing, supplementing, pumping, and weight checks until finally Xander refused to nurse, my pump output was almost nothing and I fully gave up breastfeeding.

I previously detailed why we left our pediatrician but this was a huge part of the reason.  In the two months of supplementing, I regularly insisted that Xander is just long and skinny.  It’s how he is built.  My insistence was met with questions like “Do you feed him when he is hungry?” Well, more than 10 months later, I want to march myself into the old pediatrician’s office, look him in the face and say “I TOLD YOU SO!”

Tuesday was Xander’s 1 year well visit.  He weighed in at 20 lbs 1 oz and was 30 inches long.  I almost laughed out loud when the nurse read me the percentiles.  10th percentile for weight and 50th percentile for height.  So 10 months after we began supplementing and after 8 months of being completely formula fed we wound up in the exact same place.  Just like I insisted all those months ago, Xander is long and skinny.  And what I’m most grateful for (other than the fact that he is incredibly healthy) is that we now have a pediatrician who is perfectly fine with his weight and his height. My only regret is that I didn’t do a better job of standing up for myself and my baby.  Now I just need to stop myself from marching into that old office.  Maybe a letter would be better.

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